Are Men Optional?

It is not shocking to find out that I started a nonprofit for children of divorce after spending a childhood witnessing one divorce after another.
I know the statistics, I lived them. I know that children of divorce are twice as likely to be abused, I was. I know that the death of a parent is less devastating to a child than divorce, even more than knowing the statistic, I know why? Rejection. Death means that your mom or dad didn't want to leave...divorce can mean, they chose another life over the one that you were living.
None of these reflections are a bit shocking to me, instead they comprise a huge soap box in which I have been standing for quite a few years - hollering from the roof tops for parents to please consider the effects of divorce and provide life jackets for their children.
What I am surprised by is my core belief that lingers far below...although none of this life of advocating these children would have been possible without my husband...I have believed that men are truly optional.
In 1997 statistics came out that over forty percent of our children are growing up without dads in the home. Will those girls turn into women and believe that men are optional as well? And if so, what does that look like?
I can tell them from experience that it robs a women of security, strength, unconditional love and most importantly...a feeling of being desired.
For over fifteen years I have carried a back up plan in my back pocket for "the day." How was that helpful? It wasn't.
Taking the risk in a relationship and burning the ships, sort of speak, is where the joy and security reside. Living life on the rocking boat hoping that you will never have to set sail is a miserable experience. It is all the parts of dating that we hate with none of the rewards of adrenaline highs.
Men are not optional. As a matter of fact, had it not been for mine, I wouldn't know that.
He believed that I was worth burning the ships. He still believes that because he has no other plan than to be my husband. How beautiful.
Eden doesn't believe he is optional. Her primary desire is to get his attention and keep it, she lives for his approval and he gives it at will.
His presence in the home provides much more than finances and meeting our needs. He is the rock that keeps us steady.
He alone has convinced me that men are not optional. Men are to be treasured as the valuable jewel that they are, different from us, but a true gem.