After four years of crying every time I found myself at a stop sign or light next to a car with a car seat in the back, I heard the words, "you are pregnant!" I can still get goose bumps to think of that day.
I remember thanking God for every experience. I praised Him for knowing what it felt like to hear those words. I cried in gratitude for saving her as I miscarried her twin. I thanked Him for being allowed to have my own experience on the Maternity Floor at the hospital.
Each experience...a grateful heart because I know that children are all on loan and that He is the provider of life.
As I jumped with Eden at Pump It Up this year I could not help but think of the gift she is and has been to me. When I wanted a child, I did not dare understand the full meaning of the desire. I had no idea that I was asking for my heart to be put out, vulnerable, outside of my body for all to see, criticize and love. I also had no idea that I would birth my own friend and playmate. And lastly, how close to God I would have to stay in order to raise a child responsibly. He has been my guide as I have tried to navigate through the pulls of training up another human being as her largest influence of what family and faith should look like.
God has granted me eight years of hearing the word, "mom" in every pitch, tone, mood and whine...and for that I consider myself incredibly blessed to have ears to hear them.
Happy Birthday, Eden!
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