The Gift of Time

So, by now you have probably stood in a long line or scrolled on-line looking for the perfect gift for someone.  It is the craziest month.  A month of consumerism and anxiety.
But it doesn't have to be.  For most of us, the calm comes as we really listen to what other people want....our time.
This year my daughter put over five board games on her "want" list.  I stood baffled by the list.  She has a Wii, a DS, an iPod...games and music are at her disposal.  My hope was to add to the collections, but no, she put at the very top, most wanted game - LIFE.  Yes, the board game LIFE.  The one that is celebrating 50 years.
I actually laughed out loud as I ordered the game.  I remembered wanting the game myself at her age.
Then it hit me.  She wants the exact same thing I wanted when I put that game on my list.  Not the game, but the time and people it takes to play it.  Like me, she has realized that parents who purchase a game like this are going to be forced to play it - which translates to a lot of time together as a family.
In reality my daughter has asked for what most children are asking for - time with their parents.
Someday she may not desire our time as much.  Someday I may be the one dragging the old, tattered LIFE game out of the closet begging her to play one more time before she leaves for college.  And maybe, just maybe, she might play with me before she leaves if I give her, this year, the gift of time.

Good Advice

I am quickly learning the sustaining impact of good advice.  It transcends time and after a period it doesn't even matter who the dispenser of the advice is, it just has to be truly good advice.
A piece of advice that has impacted my life and shaped a lot of my personality came from my mom.
I cannot even remember the first time it was stated, but it became a mantra in our home and more importantly a mantra in my own head.  Here it is,
"Don't compare your worst with other people's best."
Can you imagine how helpful that was in high school, those years you are using cover up for zits like crazy?  Yep, it was most helpful.
But the help lasted much longer than through growing pains, the advice shaped a mindset of personal acceptance.  I have been blessed with believing that everyone has a worst and a best and to even attempt to compare those is just foolish.  How can you know which you are comparing?
So, I don't and I haven't spent too much time concerned about comparing which has led to a lot of undeserved self-confidence.  The funny here is that I walked away with that advice even taking it a step further to assume that I have a best that maybe I haven't even seen yet.  Yes, I actually walked away with hope of a better me.

Ode to Allison's Mom

My dearest Kay, the way you freak on germs I aspire to be someday
A sweater in July, the girls may fry, but you will know you've kept them alive

The underdog, perpetually your friend, your love for them has no end
Heart good or bad, you do not see, you judging them...may it never be!

Your strategic mind, planning dates unseen, all your deeds so gracefully
Grandchildren, cats, the ones who need you most, you appear - the precious host

You decorated my door, a birthday wish, for this dear Kay, I throw a kiss
So special one was meant to be, you serenade hearts with acts of glee

No one nor animal could ever say, "Oh, that Kay did not make my day."
For each time you rise early from your recycled bed, it is the little guy you wish to get fed

Hearts for trees, earth and sky, you take them all in, even escort out the fly
Why? Does anyone know why?

It is not for us to question such a creation, only to appreciate this revelation
Ode to Allison's Mom, for she is the motherly bomb!

(knucks all around)

Happy Thanksgiving to all of our Mommas!

Live Alive

Life is going on right now.  This is truly not a dress rehearsal, it's the real deal.
Sometimes I get that, like really get that.  Today was one of those days.
I had the honor of teaching kids at Skelly Elementary the right way to do a book report.  As if that was not enough, I actually got to use my own, soon to be published, book.  Wow.  Vulnerable and engaged, me fully alive.  The beauty of this event is that I am not scared to live it.  I don't shy away from taking risks because I realize the real risk would be dying having never tried for anything.
But my day even gets better.  It gets better because as I drive away from Skelly I am reflecting on how very, very grateful I am for the life I am getting to live.  It is a rich and full life.
My cell phone goes off and my buddy just so happens to be in the area and available for coffee.  As we are catching up I am sharing another aspiration which thankfully she is on board with and ready to go.  Again, engaged - alive.  Alive in ambition and alive in friendship.
Next is an incredible meeting with an attorney from Romania, I see such deep compassion in her eyes for children in conflict.  She energizes my passion and allows me to feel the global human existence.  Alive in my global thoughts, meaning abroad.
We both attend a meeting with our Program Committee at Blended Love where we are creating an on-line class for teachers.  Alive, productivity in the realm of my passion.
Starving I grab a bite to eat and go pick up Eden from school.  She hops in and immediately goes into the events of her day.  To her, I am a mom, all other hats are dropped when I pick her up.  My name tag clearly reads, "Eden's Mom."  I love that.  Alive in heart.  The one I wear on her shirt.  She centers my dreams and brings with her - the present.  This moment, the one that is non-repeatable.
Tonight I will snuggle up with my best friend and he will get the full version of such a beautiful day, again...rich.  I am rich with the gift of life.  I understand that a moment can change or take away a life.  I pray that each day I truly choose life.  I pray I do not get hung up on petty details and forget that life is to be lived not wasted on fear, lazy thoughts or giving up.
Life.  Today.  Thank you.

Lucky

My uncle sent me a great story that is circulating about a dear, sweet dog named Lucky.  Apparently, Lucky loved to acquire a bunch of treasures (aka other people's belongings who came for visits) in a toy box down in his home basement.
The story declares his owner was diagnosed with breast cancer and fully believed she would be passing on until her, Lucky, covered her completely with every treasure he owned as she slept lifelessly.
Oh, we should all be so Lucky.

Children Change Our Lives

I don't know why I get surprised when Eden changes my life.  She has been doing it since the day she was born.  In just a matter of minutes I went from only wanting her out of my body to wanting her back in because I knew she was safe in there and I couldn't promise her that on the outside world.
She has given me vision - time and time again.
The day I saw her heart break over Brian and I not being able to communicate made me learn how quickly.  She got me thinking about my own wounding and why I found it so difficult to talk out issues.  In a way, I can safely say she started a non-profit for children of divorce because she made me look back and heal an open gash which led me to wanting to help others do the same.
Since her creation I have taken many winding roads that would have otherwise been straight.  She has given me courage to desire a legacy.
And now, right now, she is turning my world upside down as she struggles with Celiac Disease.  Just an 1/8th of a teaspoon causes her to throw up violently.  It lasts for days.  So, par the course, I am researching like crazy and learning all about how to be the mom I need to be and how help others as I learn.
When I got diagnosed, I just stayed away from any kind of gluten or thought of gluten, but of course - it takes her to make me really master it.
Children change our lives.  In a moment, they bring us to places we may have never been to if it weren't for the gift of them.

What does BEAUTIFUL look like?

I have gorgeous friends.  After spending the weekend with them, I am reminded that their beauty is so much deeper than the money they each could earn off of it.
What does beautiful really look like?

Beautiful is the way Christy loves her children.  There is nothing she would not do to keep her children safe and feeling loved.  As we rode through Dogwood Canyon she took a nasty fall on her bike because her son stopped too quickly and she didn't want to run him down.  The beauty lasted all weekend as she never reminded him or the group of the mishap.  Her children find comfort in her and in her strength.  She is the kind of mom that puts her self behind their needs and feelings.  She is beautiful, she is selfless.

Beautiful is Stacey.  She keeps her camera so close not wanting to miss a moment of all of our lives.  I cannot tell you how many times she has captured a moment that would not have been captured otherwise.  Those moments we will all be passing down to our grandchildren as they see firsthand some of the grand adventures we've had as a group.  If you spend any time at all with Stacey you walk away feeling completely adored.  She has such a gift of making people feel like they are truly "special."  She is beautiful, she makes love an action.

Beautiful looks like Allison.  She might act all tough and together on the outside, but she carries the weight of the world for her friends and family on the inside.  Continually processing what is best for everyone, a constant flow of evaluating the moments for maximum enjoyment and closeness.  Her mind is not easily shut down.  Her children are blessed to have her keen insight and her willingness to evaluate the quality of their lives and experiences.  As friends, we reap the benefit of this aptitude by seeing her take charge over rowdy kiddos - she lassoed them in and made our evening peaceful.  She is beautiful, she makes the moments count.

All of my buddies were gorgeous this weekend, as usual.  All of them living their lives for husbands and children, but most importantly....for their Father.  They are bright, shining beacons in a world of misunderstood women.  They are what beautiful really looks like.  The kind of beautiful that children recognize and want to emulate. 

Beautiful is kind, generous, loving, selfless, caring, endearing, willing - Beautiful is my friends.